An observation that turned into a rant.

Will the Facebook generation really know the definition of the word "friend"? I have to wonder. Not that I don't understand why the owners of Facebook chose that word. I mean what else are you going to call them? It's just that I have to wonder: is there anyone out there stupid enough to think they really have 400 friends? Don't get me wrong I am on Facebook. I have a lot of Facebook friends. I have people I have never met or spoken to, I have people I have only met once, I have current and former co-workers, I have acquaintances including some that I don't like at all. I have some relatives and some close acquaintances as well. Buried in that pile somewhere are some people that truly are my friends including a few who are my very best friends. These are people I grew up with and have loved for most of my life. They are people I miss and pray for and hope they are well and worry about when they are not. Facebook uses the term much more liberally. These are the things people really do on Facebook: 1) Write about the minutiae of their day to day lives under the delusion that there are 400 people out there waiting to hear what they had for lunch, 2) Whine and complain about something that no one in their immediate vicinity wants to hear about, 3) Fish for sympathy or compliments by posting how sad they are or pictures of themselves that they think actually portray them as they assume they look, 4) Like or comment about other peoples' posts so those other people will think they really care, 5) Stalk people they hate in the hopes that they will know immediately when something bad happens to them.

Like I said before, that mainly goes for the people who are not your friends. You may do similar things with people you care about but the added ingredient is sincerity, which is very poorly represented by Facebook. On the other hand, there are those that hijack Facebook to promote a particular cause or political agenda. While in some cases I support their agenda I only rarely indicate that on my page or click on the thumbs up for them. To me it's just an inappropriate place for a grass roots campaign. I mean look at NASCAR. There are lots of ads on the cars and we know why they are there and expect to see them. Those same ads would be out of place on a coffin or church sanctuary. If you are friends with someone don't abuse that friendship by using it to promote your agenda.

I go back and forth on Facebook. I stay on because I occasionally find some use for it. I catch myself doing the same things as other people. However, I don't know about you but my favorite thing to do is to go down my page and selectively delete posts that are of no interest to me. I'm try to make a conscious effort not to know what movie you watched last night or what your favorite restaurant is. I honestly don't care and even a thumbs up would be a lie. With me you will get my honest opinion. In lieu of a thumbs down that turns out to be an instant delete. Then you go back to being in my stable of people that I know are there but I don't feel the need to pretend we have some kind of closeness that has never really existed between us. It should go both ways. I post plenty of narcissistic crap on my page that I just like to see there. I seldom read the comments or look to see who thumbed me up. Thanks for your interest if you did but I don't really care. Don't pretend to be interested. That's not what friends do. Despite the fact that Facebook calls us all friends let's not muddy the water by actually acting like it. Let's not let Facebook tell us who we are to each other. Their is more subtlety and nuance to the range of human interaction and levels of connection which are infinitely for complex than "friend" or "not friend". Let's keep it real.

"Help, I've fallen into a WhiteSnake video and I can't get up!" Seriously, couldn't this be like a 2011 version of Tawny Kitaen reprising her role as the sultry vixen in that video where she was slithering around on a car hood? Nice. Or maybe she is drunk and laying down because the room won't stop spinning. Perhaps she has lost a contact. On the other hand she might be demonstrating the proper was to "stop, drop & roll". Hmmm...

Foods that Suck:

Number 1: The Tater Tot

The Tater Tot is a vile thing created when school officials discovered that Elmer's Glue was being consumed by children in large quantities and was apparently non-toxic. Since anything that has no short term adverse effects is fair game for cafeteria food new uses were looked for and found. Amazingly, small gravel-sized bits of potato that fall out of the peeler were going to waste some genius discovered that mixed with glue they could be formed into small cylinders which could be deep fried and, when covered in an acidic lubricant such as ketchup, be served as filler material in school lunches. The only place outside of a school cafeteria where you can find these festering wads of crap are at Sonic where they are completely at home with their other menu items which are designed to be eaten with the hand that isn't steering the car.

Last weeks new:

Bin Laden...Dead!

Update:

Correction...Refuses to die!

Let it go people.

Absurd Thought #1

Buffalo Wings

When a fire broke out in the barn at the fast food farm the buffalo were able to fly to safety. The popcorn chicken weren't so lucky.

Popcorn Chicken

Twilight: The Saga Goes Stupid

What is up with movies? I can dig the recent superhero flicks because they remind me of when I was a kid and read comic books and had no responsibility. However, my daughter is crazy about these vampire movies that have become so popular that they have made about a dozen of them. "Twilight" is the story of a typical moany, groany teenage girl that is suffering with the angst of having fallen for a babyface vampire. The movies keep making money so the producers refuse to drive a stake into this load of crap and just keep showing this girl and guy staring sadly off into space and thinking that their life is soooo bad. I have a couple of ideas that I think would spice things up. I think a dose of the absurd is exactly what is needed to make this interesting. First, these kids are so whiney that you can't even make them interesting my turning them into vampires. They just become depressed vampires that sit around feeling sorry for themselves. That sucks. My first idea would be to give this plot a dose of feely-good by fusing their characters with the cast of "Grease" which is a sort of similar story in a not really sort of way. But you do have the "Bad Boy", the innocent girl, some light drama, etc... Can you imagine how cool it would be if every time the scene got all heavy and the characters are staring off into space they could break into song. Hell, it would even be better if they would sing the same songs from "Grease". Now I would watch that. Instead of sex on the beach it would be some blood sucking. I love it. Now for the end I think that it would be perfect if the characters would sing and dance their way to the lair of the all time king of vampires. Then as they open the door a shadowy figure laughs and turns slowly around only to reveal that the king of the vampires turns out to be...The Count from Sesame Street. He could turn around and start numbering them off; von, du, thrrrree, fourrr, fivvve, seeeks, sayven, bleh!

Post 1 - Who Let the Morons Out?

Ok, here's the situation. My mind is so filled up with useless senseless observations and assorted other nonsense that I have decided to start publishing it all online so that maybe somewhere there will be enough people out there that are looking for completely pointless informations to store in their brains that I will be exalted and made rich beyond the dreams of Avarice. Well, that makes about as much sense to me as anything else and is about as likely as any of the other things I dream up. Actually, I am tired of doing just about everything else except having silly conversations with my kids. I have gotten to the point that only they understand anything I say. We have been having these conversations on the way to school for several years now and I truly feel that the citizens of the world will benefit from hearing this jibberish. Really??? Naw, I just want to get rich and become an idle unproductive member of society but I'm unwilling to expend any effort to get there. I am a proud member of the Moron Underground and I am releasing all other morons from any obligation to seriousness. Come out of the shadows you idiots and hear my words! They are random and silly.